To The Part Of Me That Wants To Eat

This is a diary entry of mine from a little while back. It’s raw and vulnerable but I felt the need to share it today.

Emotional eating happens, not because we don’t know the right way to eat or exercise…but because we are protecting ourselves from the pain underneath. Part of why I love to work with emotional eating is rooted in my own journey from eating to stuff down emotions  to a healthier approach that is still evolving to this day. If you want to chat about what is happening with you and your eating, please reach out. <3

To the part of me that wants to eat.

I know you are protecting me from being seen. The fat that lines my face and body sends the real me into anonymity. You keep me safe.

To the part of me that wants to eat.

I see you. I see you for the protector that you are. You want me to eat so that the pain goes away, so that I don’t have to feel isolated, guilty, ashamed and in pain. You distract me from the weight of others judgement. From heavy stares. From unwanted hands and unwanted attention.

To the part of me that wants to eat.

I know you want the best for me and that the eating lets off enough steam, lets out enough stress, lets go of just enough pain to make things easier for a while.

To the part of me that wants to eat.

I welcome your tirelessness because I am tired of the struggle. You are always there, constant and present. You are both my comforter and my punisher.

To the part of me that wants to eat.

I wish that you could see the pain you are causing me. That there is little difference between the judgement of others because I am fat to their judgement of the actual me. BECAUSE NEITHER OF THOSE JUDGEMENTS MATTER. I am me whether you pile me with weight or whether you let me be healthy.

To the part of me that wants to eat.

In the protecting of me you are the continuation of the trauma that created you. You keep me there endlessly. And it is time you stepped back.

To the part of me that wants to eat.

I am ready to find something different, something that includes the good experiences that we have both dreamed of.

To the part of me that wants to eat.
Step back now. I love you, it’s time to rest. This is the best thing you can do for me. There are better ways to protect me and I will show you how.

To the part of me that was behind the eater.

Thank you.

Welcome. I love you, you are safe.

It’s ok, you survived. We are alright.

Let’s go together to watch the sunrise, feel the cool breeze and learn about life.

To all the parts of me. Thank you.

<3

Until next time!

X Amanda

P.S. Coaching sessions for weight loss and mindful eating include hypnotherapy, NLP, mindfulness, trauma release, breath-work and more. For more details or to make a booking please send me a message here.

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